why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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