me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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