She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
