Define "chronic" masturbator.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
