Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
