i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
