4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
