i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
