This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
