We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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