im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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