whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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