I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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