Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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