yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
