That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
