no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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