bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
