Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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