I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
