ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
