I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
