i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
