Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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