**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
