Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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