your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
