Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
