Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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