Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
