I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
