omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
