i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
