How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
