Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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