girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
