College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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