I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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