So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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