You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
