Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
