I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
