And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
