Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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