Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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