Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
