Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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