you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
