...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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