this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
