She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
