And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dignity is for republicans.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
