Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
