put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
