Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
